I recently read the essays of our four Bob Webster scholarship winners (funded by VIMS - thank you VIMS!) and this one really touched me.
"...I remembered a time in my life when I was embarrassed of my mother. Being young and seeing other children walking with their mothers made me envious. Any time my mother and I wanted to go somewhere, I had to wheel her around in a wheel chair. Going to public restaurants was like being a part of a museum exhibit. People constantly stared as I hand fed my mother lunch. Entering public restrooms was like asking for lights camera action. The fact that I had to in the same stall as my mother brought curiosity upon others. They didn't know that I was going in the stall to help her, all they saw was one twelve-year-old and grown woman going into the same stall."
These memories are not far from mine. After I overcame the embarrassment I coped with the situation through pride. I was proud that I could fit Mom's wheelchair in the trunk of my car all by myself (which in my VW Beetle was in the front - strange to watch). I was proud that I could drive Mom where she needed to go. I was proud that I could help her in the restroom so she wouldn't have to expose such an embarrassing disability to a stranger. I learned a lot from Mom, in this instance what stands out is humility.
After Mom went into the nursing home, I no longer assisted her in the restroom. I no longer drove her to doctor's appointments or therapy. Someone else became 'better' with her. To lose my primary coping mechanism: pride... I believe I got through it because I knew then (and know now) that the people caring for Mom now are much better at it than I was, am or can ever be.
The essayist continued, "...as easy as it may sound to be a child, for some it is not. MS had once broken my confidence and made me feel alone, but at the same time it gave me one of the greatest role models in the world. I thank god for my mother and the person she has made me. A strong, motivated young woman who just happens to be a child or a mother who suffers from MS."
I agree. Mom, as she is, made me who I am. I think I'm a pretty good person - because of Mom. Her inability to accomplish certain things made me even more determined to reach for the stars. Throughout my childhood, I did things for both of us. I often feel like I'm still living that way. I hope so.
~Beth
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